Notorious P.A.T.

SOCIETY: There Goes The Neighborhood

2007-03-16T07:53:00.000-07:00

Guess what? There's a genuine hate group right here in my own backyard!

A list of national hate groups produced by an internationally known civil rights organization now includes the name of MSU's chapter of Young Americans for Freedom, the first university-affiliated group to be placed on the list.

The Southern Poverty Law Center's annual Hate Group list, which names more than 800 groups in the country and 25 in Michigan, is predominantly symbolic and does not imply any consequences or penalties.

This is probably just a simple misunderstanding, and any minute now they--

YAF also has been in the news for attempting to sponsor "Catch an Illegal Immigrant Day" on campus. After much controversy and debate, the event was canceled.

Oh.

What I'm trying to figure out is, why a group with "for Freedom" in its name would be harrassing immigrants or espousing white separatism. It seems to me that if someone really cares about freedom they would be fighting the Bush administration's repeal of Habeus Corpus or its belief that it can hold anyone it wants indefinitely without trial. Maybe the YAF's next press release will explain everything.

ELECTION 0-FOR-8: I'm A Loser Babyyyyy

2007-03-13T22:34:00.000-07:00

I enjoyed this post about Bob Shrum for several reasons, not the least being that people like Bob Shrum deserve to be mocked and belittled. Even his friends think he's a loser--yet he still gets hired to manage Democratic campaigns.

No, Mr. Shrum didn't run over my cat. But considering the stakes that ride on presidential elections it would be nice if, once in a while, Democrats hired someone with a track record of success.

QUESTION OF THE DAY: Who's That Now?

2007-03-13T05:56:00.000-07:00

Your mission, should you choose to accept it: figure out who the heck Thomas Sowell is talking about.

what has aptly been called "the politics of personal destruction" -- by one of its practitioners, Bill Clinton -- has become a growing cancer on the body politic

Huh? Whom did Bill Clinton "destroy" politically? I mean, I usually understand right-wing hatred of President Clinton (calling him a liar because he denied having an extramarital affair, mocking him for feeling people's pain, etc.) but this I just don't get.

You can search his column here for clues.

If you can stomache that, read this column where he says he dosn't care to hear about wounded soldiers, thank you very much. Or this one where he says lying to a grand jury isn't a crime. Me, I need some Pepto.

MEDIA: The Best of FoxNews

2007-03-13T05:51:00.000-07:00

Via Welcome to Pottersville

Funny stuff. . . in that sad but horrifying way we've come to know these past six years.

SOCIETY: The Poor State of the American Family

2007-03-10T06:48:00.000-08:00

Harold Meyerson writes on the breakdown of the traditional family in the latest American Prospect:

The conservatives are right that one decade, at least in its metaphoric significance, can encapsulate the causes for the family's decline. But they've misidentified the decade. It's not the permissive '60s. It's the Reagan '80s.

Read it here

Speaking of which, it's funny how conservatives who bemoan the endangered state of American marriage never mention that it was Ronald Reagan who gave our country its first no-fault divorce law.

NEW FEATURE: The Notorious Book Club

2007-02-23T11:26:00.000-08:00

I keep running across books I want to recommend to people, but seeing as how I just found one that is currently available online (and only online) that would be the perfect choice to launch the Notorious Book Club.

The book is called "The Authoritarians" by Bob Altemeyer, a psychology professor at the University of Manitoba (yes, it turns out they do have universities in Canada!) He has spent decades studying what makes members and leaders of "authoritarian" movements tick and has finally published his findings for the non-expert. If that name sounds familiar you might recognize him as the source of much of the groundwork in John Dean's recent "Conservatives Without Conscience", a book I can'tget anyone to read because they all say "eww! why would I want to read a book about Newt Gingrich and Dick Cheney?" Well, you won't have that problem with Professor Altemeyer's book, which is quite a fascinating read by someone who not only knows what he is talking about but is also a witty and engaging writer as well.

Anyway, enough blabbing by me. Here is where you can find "The Authoritarians".

And welcome to my book club. Now look under your seat--it's the key to a new car! Unless your neighbor stole it.

ELECTION '08: Worst Campaign Slogan Ever

2007-02-12T19:32:00.000-08:00

Rudy Giulani, Republican candidate for president, doesn't seem to realize that the purpose of a campaign is to win. He let loose with this little gem the other day:

We are very fortunate to have President Bush... that's
the kind of president I would like to be.

San Fransisco Chronicle: "America's Mayor" praises Bush in speech

Good luck with that.

JOKE OF THE DAY: Some Posts Write Themselves

2006-11-27T19:39:00.000-08:00

Is this the funniest freaking story ever?

New York Daily News: W library in record book; $500M center would be priciest for a Prez

Eager to begin refurbishing his tattered legacy, the President
hopes to raise $500 million to build his library and a think
tank at Southern Methodist University in Dallas. Bush lived
in Dallas until he was elected governor of Texas in 1995.

You must believe me, it just gets better after that. Where does one even begin?

IRAQ: Aww, Isn't That Nice

2006-11-24T09:48:00.000-08:00

A conservative on another message board presented this to me as an "uplifting Thanksgiving story". This picture goes with it, of an American soldier comforting an Iraqi child (note the scars on her shaven head):

Now here's the warm, happy story behind the picture:

Got a tough, but heartwarming story and a picture of
John Gebhardt in Iraq. For those that did not know
John, he was our former Med Group Chief, Dave
Nordel replaced him. Anyway, his wife talked with
mine last evening and sent this picture. Mindy related
that this little girl's entire family was executed. They
intended to execute her also and shot her in the head
but they failed to kill her.

If this is the "good news" coming out of our occupation. . .

JOKE OF THE DAY: Holiday Edition

2006-11-16T14:22:00.000-08:00

From a guy I talk to on a local message board:

Has the War on Christmas begun yet? Or
are we still trying the diplomatic route?

ELECTION '06: All Hail the Power of Snark!

2006-11-08T21:03:00.000-08:00

Dan Savage wrote something that, I can honestly say, I've long known to be true:

There’s a reason why monarchs and despots used to lock
up political cartoonists and satirists. Being made to look
ridiculous, being turned into the butt of a joke—that’s
politically disempowering fairy dust. It’s hard to rule when
you’re not taken seriously, and it’s hard to be taken
seriously once you’ve been reduced to a punch line. Indeed,
the power of satire should never be underestimated.

Yes, mocking powerful people isn't just fun, it helps make the world a better place as well. So keep that in mind as you read the (many, many) cheap shots that will be taken on this blog.

ELECTION '06: Blackwell in the Black

2006-11-07T06:17:00.000-08:00

This just in: I'm receiving reports that Ken Blackwell has won the governorship of Ohio with 126% of the vote. Congratulations Ken! That's gotta be a record!

RELIGION: Beware of Satan's Craws!

2006-11-06T13:03:00.000-08:00

"Working for the devil--aaand loving it!"

I've long known that Colorado is what we here at Notorious P.A.T. scientifically term a "weird-ass state". Of course this is the state that rewrote its constitution to deny outlaw gay rights laws. And who can forget hootch magnate Pete Coors running for Senate on the surprising platform of lowering the drinking age to 18? Then there was University of Colorado football coach Bill McCartney who used to go around the country with the Promise Keepers and lecture about family values, but who encouraged his daughter to get an abortion when one of his players put her in A Family Way. And so on.

The weirdness of Colorado seems to be extruded into especially potent form in Colorado Springs. When I passed through that city on one of my cross-country fact-finding missions, it struck me as an odd conglomeration of overly-scrubbed Stepford wife eerieness and Western macho meatheadedness. For instance, I'd see a Christian bookstore next to a Hooters restaurant (guess which one I stopped at). So it's no surprise to me that Colorado Springs-based pastor Ted Haggard was embroiled in a sex scandal involving methamphetamine and male hookers. What did come as a surprise, and quite a pleasant one, was Haggard's explanation of the problems that have faced him as a man trying to siege the city for Jesus.

For instance, here's an excerpt from a Harper's magazine profile of pastor Ted:

He called the evil forces that dominated Colorado Springs—and every other
metropolitan area in the country—“Control.” Sometimes, he says, Control
would call him late on Saturday night, threatening to kill him. “Any more
impertinence out of you, Ted Haggard,” he claims Control once told him, “and
there will be unrelenting pandemonium in this city.”

Now, when I hear "Control" I think of the super-secret agency that employed ace spy Maxwell Smart of the classic TV series "Get Smart" (I think my favorite episode was the one where President Nixon awarded Smart the Medal of Freedom for promising the invasion of Viet Nam was a "slam dunk"). They're the good guys! If Pastor Ted is going to make up a paranoid nationwide conspiracy, couldn't he at least pick an enemy that really is an enemy? How about "The Empire" or "The League of Shadows" or simply "Mordor"? I mean, his credibility is on the line!

I'm starting to think this guy has been watching too much television. Hey, wouldn't it be something if his wife looked a lot like Agent 99?

Holy cow! I think I've just blown this story wide open!

ELECTION '06: Countdown to Martial Law!

2006-11-06T07:46:00.000-08:00

By my estimate, Bush will declare martial law around 1 AM eastern time wednesday morning. The reasons for this are:

1) 1 Am will give him plenty of time to sleep before he gets up at 6:45 in the morning to put in another hard day's work. Why 6:45? Because before 9/11 he used to get up at 7, but after we were attacked and went to war he decided to give the job an extra 15 minutes.

2) Bush has to make the declaration soon after the polls close, so that it hasn't started to sink in among the populace that Democrats now control Congress, but to prevent cognitive dissonance in his followers he should wait until the next day, so the Republicans can say with complete sincerity that our new military rule has nothing at all to do with the elections.

3) Because our soldiers don't have sufficient body armor, it's better to deploy them at night, when they will be harder to see.

4) By 1 Am the Republicans should have had enough time to figure out which areas they still control and which ones need to be "secured".

Just think of it: armed checkpoints, sweeping searchlights, helicopters. It will be like living in a James Bond movie!

All kidding aside, how would you like to be a Republican and have your party's future resting on the shoulders of Rick Santorum?